Friday, April 22, 2005

The Proust Questionnaire

After over 50 years on the throne, Queen Elizabeth II has become Europe's longest reiging monarch and one of the most respected heads of state in the world. In all her time in the public eye, she has never given an interview. After years of speculation, gossip, the soap opera antics of her family, she has decided to set the record straight once and for all.

What is your most marked characteristic?
My stare. It can freeze water.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?
Everything but my ear-lobes

What is the quality you most like in a man?
Stamina and looking good in a uniform

What is the quality you most like in a woman?
The ability to flatter and borrow their clothes

What do you value most in your friends?
Their potential as heart donors.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
That I'm too serious at times

What is your favorite occupation?
Being Queen, I love the perks. If I wasn't Queen I would have been a lounge singer

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Canoodling with Philip on the sofa on a rainy day...oh I'm sorry, that's too much information

What you do regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Being only half-way through this questionnaire

Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Queen Victoria however I'm biased as she's a family member.

What is your biggest fear?
Skydiving, although I would like to try it.

Which living person do you most despise?
Where to begin.....

Which living person do you most admire?
Dame Edna, she reminds me of my mother

What is the trait do you most deplore in yourself?
Restraint in dealing with annoying people

On what occasion do you lie?
When doing my taxes..shhh..don't tell anyone!

What is your greatest extravagance ?
Manicures & pedicures.

What is your favorite journey?
Let's see, I've been pretty well everywhere but I do enjoy going to Florida. We have a condo there and we meet up with some friends every year and play bridge

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Monogamy

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Most people would think "we are not amused" but I prefer the more direct "sod off"

What is your greatest regret?
Not spending more time with my children when they were younger

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My husband Philip

What do you consider your greatest achievement
Having kept quiet until now

What is your most treasured possession?
My collection of commemorative plates. I have almost all of them.

When and where were you most happiest?
Before I came to the throne

If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
I wish they would be quiet at times

If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?
A thorn in the side of the paparazzi and newspaper editors

What is it that you most dislike?
Death, although I'm in favor of it for certain people.

In which country would you like to live?
Canada. They're so nice there.

What are your favorite names?
Charles, Anne, Andrew, Edward

What is it that you most dislike?
Reading tell all books about myself and being quoted by people I've never met.

Which talent would you most like to have?
Selective hearing and being able to play the trombone.

How would you like to die?
Unexpectedly, although not during a public event, it would spoil the pagentry.

What is your current state of mind?
Remarkably sane

What is your motto?
Honi soit qui mal y pense 'Evil to him who evil thinks'

© Marilyn Braun 2005

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